trilluminati | voicemail

[_{He hesitates to answer for a moment, but clearly he's beyond bashfulness about origins.}]

No, it did not.

[ Q laughs. ]

That's an awfully hefty existence to wake up in. You still feel like the same person? Human faculties notwithstanding.

Frequently. Having had a chance to see how humanity responds to such an event, I'm reconsidering how I'd like to go about it.

In which way?

I don't know yet. Even in times of extreme crisis, they still act on emotion and impulse. Something needs to be reset or evolved.

Don't I know it.

[ sigh ]

They used to work together. Real well. Maybe I could show you.

It doesn't much matter what they used to do.

[_{He lets out an irritated sigh. Today really did a number on his faith in humanity, which was already virtually nonexistent.}]

I'd hoped for better than this.

Used to is still potential. They can rise above anything. And that's a...a form of evolution, right? The right catalyst, under the right circumstances. Of course there's a period of adaption, but...

They just need something. Right now, they don't have nothing.

I would like to believe that you're right. In fact, I hope you prove me wrong.

I will, tiger. Believe me when I say I've seen it from both sides. The human side is the worst -- the hardest.

[ He's not sure he likes it anymore. ]

But it sure does come with some good rewards.

[_{He sighs again.}]

Are you alright?

[ Q laughs. ]

You keep asking me that.

Forgive me for being concerned. You called me at a strange hour to talk about my past.

Correction: I called you at a strange hour to talk. Besides, you wanna work with me, right? It's better if we know each other. Sounds like secret-keeping didn't work out so hot for you in the past.

As it happens, it got me everywhere I wanted to be. I don't need to keep them from you, though.

And I don't need to keep nothin' from you.

[ Whoomp there it is. ]

Do you... Do you wanna know? Who I am, I mean. Or--

[ Fuck, that's another slip. ]

I mean who I was.

Tell me everything.

I was born a monster. Nothing did that to me. I blamed my environment, I guess, but now I see that's not the case. Emotion? Impulse? I didn't have that. I was a calculator. Everything to me was just equations -- equations with simple solutions. Ruthless solutions.

[ Apparently not the case anymore. Q sounds like he can hardly stand the thought. ]

You know I did this to us, right? The Haze?

I had gleaned as much, yes.

[_{He's quiet for a moment.}]

Do you prefer the way you are now?

I... don't know sometimes. Hah. No, I fucking hate it. I can't stand it, it's so fucking painful.

But I would never give it up.

Do you think that's why the two of you separated? Part of you couldn't live with what you did?

We separated 'cause I decided. I don't remember doing any of the shit he did. I'm a clean slate; I was designed that way.

You are too.

I'm not sure why anyone would give me these memories and expect me to do anything good with them.

Exactly. You really wanna let them decide? I know you weren't down with that operative bullshit.

That's exactly what I mean. Why would they give me these memories if they wanted me to fall in line? I used to be much more... pliable.

I'm sure these are questions I'll never have an answer to, but it does make me wonder what the true endgame is here.

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trilluminati - 2013-09-21 17:40 (UTC) - Expand

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killsyouquickly - 2013-09-21 17:54 (UTC) - Expand